Whether you are newly divorced or it was a couple of years ago be sure to remember your young children this Halloween. You have the opportunity to make sure they have a great night and create wonderful memories with family and friends. It’s all up to you and it’s all about sharing.
Holidays always seem to highlight disagreements between former spouses and sadly, Halloween is no different. Just remember to keep that disagreement between the two adults and not the children. It always pays off when you can put your differences aside when it comes to your kids.
Don’t ask who your kids would rather spend Halloween with. They’re just kids! They don’t need or even want the pressure associated with having to choose. It’s a safe bet what they really want is to be with both parents at the same time. If that’s possible, make it happen. If not, do your best to make a sharing fair and stress free.
Be as flexible as possible so that your kids can be with both parents. If it is a Halloween party or Trick-or-Treat try to work it out for your kid’s sake.
Like most family centered holidays alternating is often the most fair answer. In the case of Halloween, you can alternate neighborhood Trick-or-Treating – one year at this parent’s neighborhood and the next year at the other one. If you live close, it may be possible to visit BOTH neighborhoods, but this might not be best for their teeth!
Save the Fight and Agree Ahead of Time
Beyond the Standard Possession Schedule, parents can agree to a shared schedule that works for everyone (when allowed). For instance, if you have Standard Possession, you may also have a section that stipulates both parents may agree to make scheduling adjustments. This can be particularly helpful around the holidays.
Also, keep this in mind as your kids grow up and their interests and activities change. You might find that what worked 4 years ago, doesn’t work and that you guys can talk it out and change a few things.
1. Trick or Treating Together
Of course, if there are lingering tensions between you and your former spouse this may not be the solution for you.
However, if you have redeveloped a functioning and cordial relationship Trick-or-Treating with both parents may be a way to create memories your children will always cherish.
2. Divide and Conquer
With the right planning you may be able to plan the Trick or Treating route like a relay race – with one parent walking with the children for the first half and the other parent walking with the children for the second half. This arrangement allows the children to spend time with both parents and to avoid any tensions that may still exist between you and your former spouse.
3. Trunk or Treat?
Many neighborhoods, churches, businesses and other organizations offer alternative Halloween activities. If scheduling doesn’t allow you to be with your children for Trick-or-Treating, take advantage of one of these fun events.
4. Let’s Party!
Everyone loves a party and a Halloween themed party has everything! Costumes, great decorations and CONTROLLED access to sweets. With very little planning you can create a Halloween party your children will never forget.
The attorneys at The Law Offices of G. Wayne Van Bibber & Associates have years of Family Law experience and can provide you with additional information in a confidential consultation.
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